Drinking wine can be an art. You can swirl it and sniff it and suck it through your teeth loudly—that’s the correct way to experience wine as art. I’m not always available for those sorts of lessons, though I wish I were. I just drink wine and have an iPhone. Why would you care that I have an iPhone? You shouldn’t. We should never become a society in which we are identified by our smartphones. But I have an iPhone 4S, which is like 50 years behind the times, but I manage. I’m telling you this because we’re going to talk about how far you can push that old smartphone into becoming your inner artist.
Wine as art! If you have a smartphone (doesn’t have to be recent), a bottle of wine, and a wineglass, you are prepared to create beautiful artwork that you can frame and hang in your home.
Three words: Hip. Sta. Gram.
That’s actually one word—Hipstagram. It’s a free app that can transform your already taken photos into strange and lovely variations. You don’t have to fumble for the cool camera filtering app and then ten minutes later ask everyone to do exactly what they were doing ten minutes ago because you finally got it all set up with the filter you like. People act like it is so tedious to do that.
Another awesome app is B&W Master. This will allow you to make many shades of old-timey black-and-white photos from your smartphone pics. Like they were taken a hundred years ago. People love that.
If you want to transform a typical day or evening of wine-drinking at home into pretty awesome art prints that you can pick up at the nearest drug store photolab the next day, check out these apps.
For this blog post, I hastily staged three pics to demonstrate. I’m presenting a few smartphone app variations of the three pics, so you can see that with some pointing and clicking and app navigating, you can make great prints while enjoying wine, which is a multi-tasking lifehack, for sure.
I put a wine bottle, a glass, and some flowers in the crate that serves as the storage shelf for towels in my bathroom. I took this photo in my bathroom. The lighting is dark, but that can always be adjusted, or perhaps you want a dark-ish photo.
I buy fresh flowers for myself every couple of weeks. I like having them, and I keep them until they are so far gone that there’s pretty much just a stink and a ghost. These were from my dining room (kitchen nook) and were on their way out. Snipped off, they were perfect for a picture.
I’ve already written about literature and wine, it’s the complete package for me. This pic was taken right after the bathroom one above, in my living room. Again, just my simple house, my really simple house. With the different Hipstaprint and B&W Master filters, they look totally frame-worthy.
The last picture I took on the fly this afternoon was on my dining room (kitchen nook) table. It’s crazy, but I actually had a little artisanal loaf of bread in my freezer. I’m a girl who periodically doesn’t have milk for my coffee in the fridge so I use ice cream (because I have that), but I had a picturesque loaf of round bread. I usually don’t. I wouldn’t recommend using a slice of sandwich bread or a hotdog bun for a picture, but many other breads can be made pretty by the magical filters of the smartphone app. I’m not advertising any particular brand of olive oil or balsamic vinegar, it just got used in the photo shoot.
Wine can be lovely art, even if not prints to decorate your walls—it can be a bottle tree. I am partial to blue bottles, so I decorate with them liberally. To some, the bottle tree may be advertising voluminous consumption, so much so that you have resorted to basically just throwing your bottles into your front yard. I think it’s pretty, but again, I am crazy about blue glass.
I’ve used blue glass wine bottles around my house for dried flowers and even lined up on the windowsill, empty. Okay, that might be sending a message about how much wine gets drunk in order for me to decorate my house, but other people save their blue bottles for me now too. If it becomes an issue, I’ll start labeling some of the bottles “Other People’s,” although I think that may compromise the aesthetic effect.
So, the next time you pour yourself a glass of wine, get artsy about it!